Lost and Found
The number one concern I have if I ever go back to school to get my PhD is… not do they have a good program, do the teachers have good reviews, or even is it a beautiful campus. My number one requirement for attending a university is… do they have a lost and found? I need one, because I used mine a lot. I was there at least a few times every semester looking for debit cards, jackets, and even my scooter. If it was possible to lose, I probably did. More than once.
One time, I even ran into my older brother there. That’s when I started to wonder if being forgetful might actually run in families. Was this a quirk or was this part of something larger.
As a kid, I was always leaving things behind — books, homework, assignments. My dad would drive me back to school after dinner so we could see if the janitor was still around to unlock the door. I still remember my teacher’s face when she tried to help me with simple math problems and I just couldn’t follow.
When ADHD Looks Different
ADHD is a big topic right now. When I was growing up in the 1990s, it mostly seemed like something that affected boys, the ones who couldn’t sit still, talked too much, and were always getting in trouble. I remember one boy in my class who would perch on his chair like a bird. That was what ADHD looked like back then.
As an adult, I’ve watched friends wonder if they might have ADHD, too. Some even joked about wanting a prescription just to help them focus or lose weight. But lately, the conversation has shifted. More and more women are being diagnosed with ADHD later in life and realizing that it’s not just about hyperactivity or bad focus.
What ADHD can look like in women
For many women, ADHD looks quieter. It shows up as forgetfulness, chronic lateness, procrastination, emotional ups and downs, disorganization, impulsive spending, or feeling constantly overwhelmed. These traits can easily be mistaken for personality quirks or stress, not signs of a neurodevelopmental condition.
Researchers now know that women are often underdiagnosed and misdiagnosed. Many are first treated for anxiety, depression, or even bipolar II before ADHD is considered. While those conditions can occur alongside ADHD, missing the core diagnosis can leave symptoms untreated for years.
Hormones and Attention
Studies also show that ADHD symptoms in women can change with hormone shifts. Estrogen plays a role in attention and motivation, so when it drops, like right before a period or during menopause, symptoms often get worse. Some women even notice that their ADHD medication doesn’t seem to work as well during these times.
Understanding these hormonal effects helps women recognize patterns instead of blaming themselves for inconsistency.
A Different Kind of Lost and Found
Looking back, I realize that the lost and found wasn’t just about missing objects. It was a reflection of how I moved through life, often scattered, always trying, sometimes forgetting, but always coming back to look for what I’d misplaced.
Maybe ADHD isn’t just about losing things. Maybe it’s about finding a new understanding of yourself, your brain, and the way you move through the world.
